Life Is a Mix CD, Part One

I recently completed Rob Sheffield's fantastic memoir Love Is a Mix Tape. It was a fantastic read, by the way, and was structured in a great way. He talks about what was happening in his life when he has made or received these mix tapes. I could definitely relate. It reminded me of a scene in the movie High Fidelity in which John Cusack's character, Rob, is organizing his music collection "autobiographically." I had always kind of wondered exactly what he meant by that. In the reading of Sheffield's book, I began to realize exactly what John Cusack meant in High Fidelity. I have long been an avid mix-maker, so I dug up all my old mix CDs and began to reminisce about times gone by (which is something I rarely do). I resolved to write some Sheffield-inspired blog posts. Here is the beginnings of the results (there will probably be ten or so of these posts):

Soundtrack of My Life Vol. 1 (Fall 2000)

1. Value Pac “Loner”
2. MxPx “Tomorrow's Another Day”
3. The Get Up Kids “Red Letter Day”
4. The Huntingtons “We Don't Care”
5. Weezer “Buddy Holly”
6. The Ataris “I Won't Spend Another Night Alone”
7. Squad Five-O “Time Goes By”
8. Ghoti Hook “Running Away”
9. Fanmail “Wonderful Punches”
10. Craig's Brother “My Annie”
11. Plankeye “Sterling”
12. Five Iron Frenzy “World Without End”
13. Slick Shoes “Fall”
14. Pedro the Lion “Promise”
15. Philmore “Worth the Wait”
16. Arthur “All My Life”
17. Dogwood “Left Out Cold”
18. The Cootees “They Don't Know”
19. Twotimer “My Friend”
20. Value Pac “Don't Look Back”
21. The Ataris “The Summer Wind Was Always Our Song”
22. MxPx “GSF”
23. Five Iron Frenzy “Blue Comb '78”
24. Craig's Brother “Potential”

I know that I had a few mix tapes that my aunts had made me when I was a kid. I know that I used to tape stuff off the radio, but it wasn't until I got my first CD burner that I really started making mixes. In fact, one of my only requirements when I got my first computer as a graduation gift that I was to take to college and use for all that homework was that the computer have a CD burner. In reality, I probably used my computer to download oodles of music from Napster (pre-lawsuits and FCC laws that regulated digital file sharing) and use AOL Instant Messenger until all hours of the night talking to friends about nothing in particular instead of doing that all-important homework.

The Soundtrack of My Life Volume One was one of my first attempts at making a mix CD. There would be no volume two to follow, and it would remain the so-called soundtrack of my life for only a short time. Also, I didn't know how to make a very good mix CD. I didn't know that it was important to pay attention to what song was first and what song was last. I didn't understand variety and varying tempos in the music and where songs that were slower belonged. I didn't understand that mix CDs should have some kind of theme to be any good. Basically, this CD is the music that was still with me from high school, along with the few things I had picked up when I came to college, and I just wanted to listen to it all in one place. I made this CD early my freshman year, and it really does baffle me why some of these songs are on here, such as “The Summer Wind Was Always Our Song.” I thought the song was really ingenious at the time, but I can't remember today why that is. I mean, I still enjoy an Ataris song now and then, but why a song like “Summer Wind” would end up on what basically amounted to a “Shelby's Greatest Hits” collection is beyond me. It was never even one of my favorite Ataris songs. It was just . . . new, I guess.

Now a song that made its way into my soundtrack that I had just discovered was “Red Letter Day” by the Get Up Kids. My first ever show in college was The Get Up Kids with The Anniversary. I saw them at a place that I still think of fondly, though I haven't been there in six years (which is a damn shame really). That place is Emo's in Austin. The first time I went, I felt as if a new world had opened up. All the scene kids with their awesome band t-shirts, mostly from bands I hadn't yet discovered. I looked around the place and saw all the hipsters with their wide-rimmed glasses. They looked just like me. You could tell that everyone belonged to that I-don't-care-what-you-think-about-me-I-am-what-I-am universe where I felt nearly alone in high school. Where have you guys been all my life? I felt like this is where I belonged. I felt grown-up, hanging around at a place where they served alcohol (though I was still 3 years too young to partake) and people smoked and cursed and sang along and jumped up and down with the beat. Also, it was here that I developed a theory—the best music clubs have the most disgusting bathrooms in the world. If you've ever set foot in the Emo's bathroom, then you know what I am talking about: ice and cigarettes and often other items in the urinal trough, one stall that doesn't lock with a toilet that hasn't been flushed for nights on end, obscene graffiti and band stickers all over the wall. Honestly, I was a little afraid I might catch some type of venereal disease just from urinating at Emo's the first time I went. Since that time however, I have seen a lot of bands play a lot of places, but it seems like the best places had disgusting bathrooms.

So this was college life: staying up late, going to shows an hour and a half away despite that 8 AM class the next morning, sitting around the dorm room and listening to music for hours on end. This was the life for me. I felt comfortable in my own skin for what seems like the first time in my life. In high school, it seemed that I had to force myself to be different because I didn't want to be like everyone else. Here, in college, I could see how everyone was different without having to try. I just got to be me. People accepted me. When I bleached my hair blonde cowboys, punks, and girls alike told me that it was “cool.” It was also around this time that I actually found that I could talk to girls without being afraid they might bite my head off or something. I could talk and be friends with girls without being remotely interested in dating them. Why had this never occurred to me in high school? In high school it was always, “Woah! A girl is talking to me. She must like me.” And I would, of course, reciprocate this misperceived “liking” immediately because well . . . this was a member of the female race we were talking about, right?

I also was enjoying my new freedom: I could stay up as late as I wanted and listen to music as late as I wanted and procrastinate as much as I wanted and eat as much junk as I wanted. If I wanted to go to Taco Cabana at 2 AM, by Jove, I could find someone who was up to meet me there. I was always a good kid in high school and was kept on a relatively long leash as it was, and I remained a well-behaved college student, but I preferred life without a leash of any length. Yes, life was good, and fairly unstressful, and a lot of fun. It seemed like nothing could touch me.